If I Had Known

If I had known that would be the last time I ever heard your voice,
If I had known that seeing you again wouldn't be a choice,
I would have held you oh so close, and squeezed oh so tight,
I would have told you that I loved you, on the phone that night.

They say "You learn to live with it" Can someone please tell me how?
I wish this was a nightmare that I could wake up from, and that I would find you here with us now.
Not a day passes without my missing you and thinking of you.
Try as I might to keep my mind busy, the memories always shine through.

I was so angry with you Dad, that you left us in this way.
I would have given anything, anything to have you stay.
Even now, how do I accept or deal with the fact that you're gone?
It hurts beyond belief that our lives without you must go on.

It's hard to believe that a year has nearly passed.
I hate the fact that so much time has gone since you were with us last.
It wasn't supposed to happen, you were meant to be around tormenting us for years.
One day I want to cherish my memories of you, without the constant threat of tears.

I will always love and miss you Dad, and when you passed you took a piece of my heart.
One day in the future we will see you again, but the waiting will be the hardest part.

In loving memory of a beloved Father, Brother and Husband.
Robert Bryan Perrin - 8th July 2010